Friendship

How connected should I be to my friends? Sometimes I ask myself such a question. Because friendship is certainly a big part of my life, however, my personal inclination tells me that I need a certain distance from many of those friends. They are of course nice, yet being nice doesn't mean being intimate, being so close enough that you can share almost everything with them. On the other hand, you can't expect me, a guy, to develop a confidant-type relationship with other female friends like many girls do. Nor am I so interested in those women's talk in shopping, fashion and those kinds of stuff. And I don't think I'm a gossiper.

So basically, I feel kind of keeping myself a bit away from many pals, when I'm not in school and prefer some kind of being alone in my private life. Sometimes I may start a call to my out-of-town friends to get their updates. That's something I'd like to do. Yet for those in-town ones, for most of the time, I may not be the one who is qurious enough to initiate such a call. Sometimes I'd opt to online chat instead. Maybe subconsciously I think, as long as we are still here in town, we will get chance to learn about what's going on on friends' end.

I don't whether my such choice is good or not because sometimes I fear this might result in losing some friends. Yet I can't do something that is against my mind. To bend my willingness in order to court so-called friendship isn't what I'm looking for, though I always appreicate what my friends have done for me and am always prepared to repay them as much as I can.