Homecoming

Called home tonight. I learned that my dad's cousin had called the other day and expected him to pay a visit to his hometown Changshou, from which he has been away for decades. My mom told me about her concern over my dad's might-be sad feelings aroused after seeing those old hometown scenes (especially when it comes to those involving close family members like my grand parents who had passed away and I had no chance to see them) could do no good to his health, given his age. What I thought was a bit different. I just don't want that going back to his hometown in order to cure his nostalgia, deeply rooted yet well concealed in my dad's heart, should become an unfulfiled dream to him. My mom's concern could be reasonable, yet to me, that kind of nostalgic desire may weigh much more heavier on my dad's mind. I told my mom that, once he makes up his mind and get determined to go, very hopefully he shall be able to overcome those sad feelings. Although my thought might be too simple or naive, I just felt that no one but himself can beat those bad feelings.

The problem is that my dad himself looks so uncertain or hesitant on this thing as he won't say yes or no to such a plan. I don't like that.

However, it seems I suddenly realize the meaning of a sentence in an old Chinese poem: when one gets closer to his long departed hometown, he becomes more afraid to face it. Listening to Hagood Hardy's "Homecoming", I feel my tears rolling in my eyes.